How humorous things happen with coffee
My wife likes coffee. Maybe the word “like” is not the best word to use. She makes a high octane cup! You could stand a fork straight up in her coffee and it would not even move! I swear that I could light that cup on fire! I’m telling you her brew is so potent that the cup crawls across the table into her hand under its own power. Steven King could write a great series about Michelle’s morning brew.
While I’m at it, I’ll even give him the story line. Aliens have snatched my wife and they are about to take over the world by shooting invisible beams of organic coffee at innocent young people standing at the corner bus stop. I’ll be the hero of the day and un-plug the great mother ship coffee pot orbiting the earth. It has a long extension cord so I won’t need to wonder off into space to un-plug it. Story line set, script sold; I’ll be rich! Then I’ll sell Toe Socks and really make a fortune! (Well… that’s another story.)
For a while I was going to send her to a 12-step program! Then I thought, “HEY! Should I be selling Toe Socks?” (Random thought)
Michelle only has one cup of coffee every morning, but it’s an extremely potent one! However it has become a serious situation for me! When I get home from work, the furniture has been moved.
I have to wear full hockey pads because the furniture is usually moving when I walk through the door. (Ever see the movie Poltergeist? Nevermind…)
People that live in our neighborhood have noticed that all of the shrubs in front of our house suddenly disappeared one day.
I came home from work and all of the bushes were in a huge pile and Michelle was standing out front with a chainsaw in one hand, a Coffee Canyon mug in the other, a red bandanna around her head. She looked like Rambo with a chainsaw!
I kept on driving!
I went to a safe place. I think it was Walmart.
A few months ago I borrowed a power washer to clean off the house to get it ready for painting. I came home from work to find Michelle with the power washer in hand. Then I noticed that our deck was gone! She just blew it away!
I tell you I wonder if her brew is legal.
Thinking back, when I was growing up, coffee has always been sort of a family problem. My Mom like fried coffee. (I’m not kidding!) She could melt that coffee pot and it was still not hot enough for her. If you think that was bad! My Dad had coffee issues too. He poured coffee on a cactus every morning after breakfast. It grew 10 inches in one week! Then it died. (It probably would not have died if he used Organic Coffee) On the other side of the family tree, Michelle’s dad was from Serbia. That’s where she learned how to stand that fork up in her cup of mud… excuse me… her coffee.
I don’t know about you but I like my sleep. There have been times around 3:00 in the morning when Michelle will jump up on the bed and shout, “Give me something to pick up!”
I just roll over and say; “Honey go move the couch again.” And I go back to sleep.
Okay, I’m getting a little carried away. Wait! Did I just hear a chain saw?
I’m outa’ here! Where’s the nearest Walmart?
Ralph Peterson is a graduate from University of Saint Thomas, School of Business Mini-MBA (Small Business Administration/Management) Over 30 years of combined experience in Video Marketing & Website Development 7TrillionVideos.com